Through the Looking Glass

After many years of marriage, my husband Brian was diagnosed with a brain tumour. The diagnosis meant almost certain death; the only real questions were just how long it would take and the way it would happen. And so we began (along with our two children) a life which took us to places we could never have imagined. After two and a half years of surgery, radiotherapy, chemotherapy, brain damage, forgetfulness, personality change, incontinence, seizures, financial worry and all the things that go with that, Brian died on 29^th August 2014.

I documented our sad but sometimes hilarious journey through those two and a half years in a blog which had a big following. That popularity made me think that there is an appetite for real stories about real life out there, even if the story is not always pretty.

Now all these years later, I am still trying to figure out how to live this strangely disconnected, not pretty life without him and without the life we had. But living a new life, alone or changed in unalterable ways is something many people experience at some time in their lives. Making sense of it all is bewildering and often the sense of isolation can be overwhelming.

I left work to look after Brian which was a tremendous shock to me. When I found myself marooned in the house with the largely uncommunicative Brian, I was shatteringly bored, (but that was nothing compared to the financial shock!!). Eventually, I started doing a bit of upholstery on furniture that we had. I found that I really liked it and after a bit of hit and miss, that I could do it. So, what does a girl do?? I went to a couple of courses and missioned on.

I have some inherent advantages -  I could already sew; Brian had been restoring furniture for over forty years and the business was operating downstairs from the apartment that we lived in. Repairing and restoring the woodwork, access to tools and good advice was all there for me. So, I just did it, and then people started to like it and ask me if I could do things for them or buy things I had done. So without even really knowing it, I had made a little business. And here we are – furniture everywhere.

But I like different, interesting colour combos and changing the furniture to give it a new life, not just the same as it was but newly recovered. Surely that is what my life has to be too? 

 It is very hard to try to make yourself up again  and I didnt always think I was up for it. There is such a sense of isolation and that makes you lose confidence.  There is that sense that you always have someone on your team and if it all goes wrong, you can be wrong together. I had to figure out how to function without that certainty and maybe be wrong alone.

So - this little Facebook page and website – I could take you with me while using it to promote my furniture. Maybe you will come on the journey with me, trying to rebuild myself and my life without Brian and maybe it may provide some small diversion if you are struggling through life -  like me.

 The pictures below are some of the pieces I have done. Most are sold but will give you the idea. The ones for sale have got a price and I may eventually get round to making an online shop but for now, you can email  me at lesley.wallis@hotmail.com or call me 0274342007.

Lesley